This Wednesday, I sat down with Riot Control Simulator, a new simulation game that throws you into the combat boots of a militarized United States police officer. Who exactly is this game for? Cops? People who wish they were cops? Hard to say—but within minutes, I found myself spiraling into a power trip that would make a comic book villain blush. It’s less of a thoughtful simulator and more of a sandbox for chaos, and I mean that in the most entertaining way possible.
Presentation-wise, the game holds its own. The graphics are perfectly serviceable by sim standards—not exactly eye candy, but detailed enough to draw you in. There’s an unexpected amount of attention given to little elements like phones, tablets, and radio systems. While most of these features are pretty useless in terms of gameplay, they do add flavor and a weird kind of authenticity to the world. It feels like a game trying to be more serious than it really is.
You wake up from a car crash with broken legs, which is already a wild way to start a tutorial. From there, you’re arguing with payroll and tolerating your grating coworkers while trying to learn the ropes. I managed to soft-lock the game twice during the tutorial alone, which is a cardinal sin in game development. Tutorials are already the least fun part of any game—making players restart them just adds insult to injury.
Once I hit the streets, the real chaos began. Instead of upholding justice, I took a hard turn into full-blown corruption. Shotgunning pedestrians, tasing innocents, and cracking down on drunk soccer fans with my baton became my new normal. I even started falsely accusing random people just for kicks. If you’re wondering whether this is how you’re supposed to play the game… the answer is probably no. But it was easily the most fun I had all week.
So what’s the takeaway? Riot Control Simulator is far more enjoyable when you lean into the absurdity and embrace the role of a completely unhinged authority figure—for laughs, of course. Just a reminder: this is a game. Please, for the love of decency and basic morality, don’t try this at home—or anywhere else, seriously, take a breather.